FOR MORE The day Jackie left Jackie Wagner is putting her real name to her story now, in part because as a nurse practitioner she wants to help people struggling in similar situations. In the March 8 issue, The Splash printed a first-person column written by Wagner, although the only attribution to her was that she signed it using her initials. Her moving account of the day she left her abusive situation appears at the bottom of this page. Jackie and daughter Sophia Wagner

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I am a single mom and in the final months of graduate school for my practitioner license. I have two children, both honor students in a local junior high. Because of my schooling and long hours at work, I decided to move in with a man to save money and pay down some debt. For a while, things went very well and the four of us were very happy. However, around this same time last year, about two months after we had moved in, circumstances began to change.

Because of financial constraints, I found myself justifying the outbursts as my fault and played down the situation. After all, he was paying the rent. My living there was enabling me to pay down my debt.

But as the episodes unfolded, I would tell myself not to panic and if I learned to modify my behavior a little better, maybe it would modify his. This worked at first, but then the cycle continued to where anything would set him off, and usually at the worst times. For example, before I was out the door to take an exam, on the boat in the middle of the lake or, worse, in front of my kids.

In less than a year, I had contacted 911 dispatch four times for domestic violence. Each time after speaking with the police, I'd minimize the abuse and convince myself I was being over-reactive and to stick it out just a little longer until graduation, then money would be better and I could leave. But the outbursts worsened, and I was paying a hefty price of my self-worth. He was winning the battle to control me, and I was believing I was unlovable, ugly and difficult to live with.

The last event was at 5 o'clock in the morning, less than a week before Christmas with the shouting, the four-letter words and name calling echoing down our street. When he stormed out, slamming the door behind him, two police officers arrived. One went to find him, and the other stayed with me, this time insistent that I go to a shelter. I wondered: What am I waiting for? Money?

As I cried on the policeman's shoulder, he told me life was too short and if I continued to make money the priority, I would wake up one day still broke with my kids grown up miles away or worse, damaged. "The stuff" didn't matter, the local gossip didn't matter. What was here, what was now, that's what mattered! My game face and the minimizing of my situation were not working for me anymore, and I was clearly in big trouble. My children are 13 and 14, I'm an educated woman with two degrees - when is it ever a good time to be homeless?

I dropped the kids off at school and headed to the shelter. Driving around and crying, I started praying - like I've never prayed in my life. I had been angry with God for a while but decided today was a good time to settle the score. It was time to take accountability for my mistakes, own up to my fears, own up to my poor judgment and own up to the fact the kids were suffering, too.

Along the way, I passed a rental sign not far from my kids' school. I called the number from my cell, and by noon I was filling out a rental application. Knowing I had no money, I called my bank from my car and told them my situation. While still on the phone, they cash advanced in my checking account all the funds I needed for a move-in deposit. I was speechless. At 3 p.m., the time the kids came home from school, I had keys in my hand of our new home.

The next day (my birthday) my bank called and informed me that I was approved for a refinance on my car, and my payments were lowered to half. Then, I discovered I had a mutual fund I had been paying into for years I didn't know about (God's birthday bonus). It was the best birthday present of my life!

From this experience I have learned a valuable lesson about life and about myself: I do believe in miracles. I do believe that in our moments of real need, real accountability, and genuine remorse ... we are not alone.

Now, two months later, the children and I are thriving. Yes, money is tight, with a stop to the food bank on occasion. More importantly our home life is stable and all of us are doing well emotionally and in school.  My daughter recently received an award for outstanding achievement, and I will be graduating this spring.

If you are in a similar situation that I was in, I understand the fear.  Nonetheless, our obligation as parents, family or friends is to protect those we love. I found strength and courage to press past that fear in a time of great personal doubt and faith. Look for the nobility within yourself and show by example to your children the power in this trait.  Believe me when I say, you will not be alone when you take that first step out.